Crystal Fires
https://www.crystalfires.net


Tuesday, July 17, 2018
blessed silence listless, disappointed

It’s been a miserable summer since May. It’s been hot nearly all the time – both “hot-for-me” and legitimately hot, and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. Yesterday was 32 (Celcius), today it’s promised to be 33 with no cloud. I just barely made it through yesterday, today stretches long and torturous in front of me. It’ll feel like dying.

I can’t even think of tomorrow yet.

It’s promised to stay well above 25 for the next 10 days, but hopefully that gets adjusted downwards to something more normal as the days go by.

My migraine is bad and getting worse, and also I’m feeling just bad overall due the bright sun and the constant heat. I’ve reached the limit of my ability to stand the heat for this year, and now it’s taking all I have to just exist. I don’t know that I’m able to work much on my sites or anything online until the heat is over. So this is your Hiatus warning. It things go well, I’ll be back to normal later this month but it may just as well be end of August or early September before I have energy for anything beyond surviving. Totally depends on the weather now.

I’m writing this at 5.30AM and it feels weird. I’m not a morning person (at all!) but these days mornings are the only time of day I can breathe and feel normal for a couple of hours. That’s when I have to do all the household work and grocery shopping and such right now.

Hey Finnish Summer, I’m ready for you to go back to normal! Cold and gray, rain and all!

 



Wednesday, June 27, 2018

I love these journals! I bought one earlier, but when I wanted get another one, they weren’t available anymore. I’m so happy Moneeza added them back to her shop, and I bought the mint one right away just now 😀



Saturday, May 26, 2018

I had a really really good day on Wednesday; my migraine was actually totally gone – not even a hint of it anywhere to be found!  😯 😀 No vague pressure in my head, or quick scalpel slash of pain if I happened to move just the wrong way… nothing. I can’t even remember the last time a had a day like that; must be three or four years ago. But I had a bad migraine attack on Thursday and a little less severe yesterday, that didn’t go all the way away and now it’s all nasty feeling all the time again 🙁

And also, it’s that time of year again… I complain about the stupid hot weather. The third week of steady heat is starting, and it’s not even summer yet! I think the migraine is so damn bad again partly due to the heat. I’ve reached my tolerance limit of heat and bright sun, now it’ll be just enduring and suffering until it goes away and the current weather prediction says that be on June 4th *fingers crossed* it’ll be earlier but at least not any later!

Seems to me the last few years that May, which is (supposed to be) still spring here, is actually all out summer these days. The heat personally bothers me and I could do with out it entirely, but it feels like the summer is starting earlier these days, and the actual summer is a little colder.

Cool weather, please to be making an appearance soon!

 



Tuesday, May 16, 2017

On the April 3rd I started a vocational rehabilitation course 🙂

I’d been planning this for like the last four years or more but always either had to push it back because of new illness or old symptoms getting a lot worse before I even sent in my application or once, had to cancel my application it because my Crohn’s Disease suddenly got really bad and there were procedures planned which would’ve required sick leave for about 1/3 of the first month. Which would’ve made the thing a waste and useless :/ It took this long for me to stabilize and be so so that things feel like this is the new normal and that I can maybe do other stuff than just be at home and try to make it through the day okay. Then it took like about a year the unemployment agency & doctors etc. on board with the idea and go through the steps from there. So yay! I’m finally at this step! 😀

The course consists of periods of days/weeks at the rehabilition center’s premises and of work training (weeks/months). The first stage lasted for four weeks, and I’m currently at the second stage – the first working training.
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Friday, October 21, 2016

Everything went smooth and easy, and I got back home about three hours ago. I’m sore but much less than I thought I’d be… though the pain killers they gave me might still be working at a base level so we’ll see what’s tomorrow like. I’m hugely tired but it’s a good tired  :cheer:



Thursday, August 4, 2016

Nothing much to report on the health front… my Crohn’s Disease symptoms vary wildly and has been doing that since March. I think it was the iron supplement that I have take that set it off after a little more peaceful period. I changed the brand but it didn’t help. Got a check-up coming up in later this month; curious if there’s anything alarming/must-take-action showing up in the blood panels.

Been going to a PPT (psycho-physical therapy) therapist for about two months now. She’s helping me find coping mechanisms and it’s been helpful. Also been going to a nutritionist with experience in inflammatory bowel diseases, apparently I should have been directed there back when I started having chronic bowel problems and erikoissairaanhoito (Special Health Care, the more advanced form of the basic health care which gets involved when the basic health care which is the first step can’t diagnose/treat etc. an ilness) got involved or when I got the Crohn’s Disease diagnosis back in 2012 at the latest, but they didn’t. Also been going there for about two months. So far it hasn’t helped with me the symptoms, but has helped me balance my nutrition better.

And now some random musings…

In the fall of 2015, I decided to wait until the season 2 of Gotham comes out on Bluray before watching it, like I did with season 1, and I’m so glad I did! It just gorgeous on Bluray 🙂 I like it fine but I’m don’t think I’d watch it if Morena Baccarin weren’t in it, Bluray or not. I tried to watch season 1 when it aired and couldn’t maintain interest, even though I think it’s good. There’s just something about it that doesn’t work for me unless I binge it.

Good thing autumn is almost here – it’s been sunny for almost all of last four weeks and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve started avoiding going out because I can’t deal with the unrelenting brightness anymore. I do grocery shopping once a week and my doctor’s appointments if I have any but that’s it.

Re-doing my fanfic site, I realized that all my main female characters have names ending with an “a”  – Angelina, Giulietta, Ella, Carolina, Safiyaah, Tahirah. Huh. Technically, the last two end in “ah” but in my mind it’s the same. What does this mean, if anything?

Trevor Jones’s score for The Last Of The Mohicans is my favorite music. I can happily have those nine tracks on repeat for hours and hours, and literally just listen and do nothing else. I have so many versions of them by various artists downloaded from Youtube it’s ridiculous.

Nutella is horribly, sickly sweet. Do people really love it like I’ve hearing for years? I bought my first jar ever yesterday because I wanted to try a chocolate cake recipe which uses it in the icing. Baked it today, haven’t tasted the cake yet but did taste the Nutella itself and yagh. Too damn sweet Good thing the icing also uses some cream to dilute it but I wonder what the final product tastes like. But unless this cake is amazing, this was the first and last Nutella I’ll ever buy.

That’s it from me for now…



Friday, October 23, 2015

Today was awful. I woke up at 5am with a migraine and couldn’t go to the PPP Group (more about that later) because of it. I’ve been having cold sweats all the day today, starting with the migraine. Thank God the migraine went away by about midday but the cold sweats persisted so I was a little bewildered by that. Then around 3pm terrible stomach pains set in, thanks to Crohn’s Disease. I had to go number two 7 times between 3pm and 6pm, and the rest of the time rest in the bed. At about 5pm I started to feel dizzy whenever I was up and a little later on one of those trips to the toilet found out my period had started. Which totally explained the unusually awful stomach pains, increased bowel movements, cold sweats and the dizziness and just generally feeling I was about to expire. It’s a pretty normal thing for me that the Crohn’s is a little worse the first day or two of the period. I loath periods but I suppose I should be content – it was 14 days late from the estimated start time. Now to hoping it will end like it should in 5-7 days and not keep on going. It’s near midnight now, I still feel like I might faint I’m up more than a few minutes at a time but at least the stomach pains have dulled down to a blunt ache. Fingers crossed that I won’t feel so weak or be in so much pain tomorrow because I can’t NOT go grocery shopping.

Update on my health & life & car situation behind the cut…

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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

I’m going in for a colonoscopy again, so I won’t be online much or at all on tomorrow Wednesday (the nasty-awful-but-got-to-do-it colon prep which takes the entire day) and Thursday (the colonoscopy day). If there are any problems with the sites starting on those two days, it won’t be until early evening Thursday earliest that I can get to it.



Tuesday, March 10, 2015

I’ve had non-stop migraine since about 4am Friday morning. Five days 🙁 Good thing I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, bad thing that this will replace one of the things I made it for  in the first place, delaying that thing again  :/ My head is pissing me off :<



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