I getting up on 300 days of sickeness allowance at the end of this month (300 days is the maximum; after that one has be fit for work for at least a year to re-qualify again for the same illness) because of my migraines.

So now I’m applying for disability pension/temporary disability pension now. I never thought until a couple of years ago I’d ever have to do that this young (I’m 43). Disability pension has become notoriously hard to be approved for the last decade or so, propably tens of thousands of people are kept on unemployment despite them, their doctors and the unemployment agency knowing full well that they are not able to work. But insurance doctors think otherwise, without ever seeing the patient. So I’m not at all sure I’ll be approved. If not, I’ll join the ranks of people on wrong damn benefit.

It’ll take them about 2-3 months to process my application, keeping fingers crossed!

I’m not even sure I truly want to be on disability pension but that’s really the right place for me untill and unless the migraine gets a lot better (and doesn’t get worse again when trying out working or whatever). And it would be mentally much better than being on unemployment and feel like I’m not hanging in a loose noose. As long as I’m on unemployment but not able to work in reality, it’ll be stressing because you never know what the TE-toimisto will think up like unpaid work. And things have been going really badly for the unemployed (and just generally the poor) the last several years while the right wing politicians are in power, and they have still more bad changes in the pipeline for the unemployed.

But yeah, I never thought I’d be here when I was younger!

It’s been a miserable summer since May. It’s been hot nearly all the time – both “hot-for-me” and legitimately hot, and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. Yesterday was 32 (Celcius), today it’s promised to be 33 with no cloud. I just barely made it through yesterday, today stretches long and torturous in front of me. It’ll feel like dying.

I can’t even think of tomorrow yet.

It’s promised to stay well above 25 for the next 10 days, but hopefully that gets adjusted downwards to something more normal as the days go by.

My migraine is bad and getting worse, and also I’m feeling just bad overall due the bright sun and the constant heat. I’ve reached the limit of my ability to stand the heat for this year, and now it’s taking all I have to just exist. I don’t know that I’m able to work much on my sites or anything online until the heat is over. So this is your Hiatus warning. It things go well, I’ll be back to normal later this month but it may just as well be end of August or early September before I have energy for anything beyond surviving. Totally depends on the weather now.

I’m writing this at 5.30AM and it feels weird. I’m not a morning person (at all!) but these days mornings are the only time of day I can breathe and feel normal for a couple of hours. That’s when I have to do all the household work and grocery shopping and such right now.

Hey Finnish Summer, I’m ready for you to go back to normal! Cold and gray, rain and all!

I love these journals! I bought one earlier, but when I wanted get another one, they weren’t available anymore. I’m so happy Moneeza added them back to her shop, and I bought the mint one right away just now 😀

I had a really really good day on Wednesday; my migraine was actually totally gone – not even a hint of it anywhere to be found!  😯 😀 No vague pressure in my head, or quick scalpel slash of pain if I happened to move just the wrong way… nothing. I can’t even remember the last time a had a day like that; must be three or four years ago. But I had a bad migraine attack on Thursday and a little less severe yesterday, that didn’t go all the way away and now it’s all nasty feeling all the time again 🙁

And also, it’s that time of year again… I complain about the stupid hot weather. The third week of steady heat is starting, and it’s not even summer yet! I think the migraine is so damn bad again partly due to the heat. I’ve reached my tolerance limit of heat and bright sun, now it’ll be just enduring and suffering until it goes away and the current weather prediction says that be on June 4th *fingers crossed* it’ll be earlier but at least not any later!

Seems to me the last few years that May, which is (supposed to be) still spring here, is actually all out summer these days. The heat personally bothers me and I could do with out it entirely, but it feels like the summer is starting earlier these days, and the actual summer is a little colder.

Cool weather, please to be making an appearance soon!

On the April 3rd I started a vocational rehabilitation course 🙂

I’d been planning this for like the last four years or more but always either had to push it back because of new illness or old symptoms getting a lot worse before I even sent in my application or once, had to cancel my application it because my Crohn’s Disease suddenly got really bad and there were procedures planned which would’ve required sick leave for about 1/3 of the first month. Which would’ve made the thing a waste and useless :/ It took this long for me to stabilize and be so so that things feel like this is the new normal and that I can maybe do other stuff than just be at home and try to make it through the day okay. Then it took like about a year the unemployment agency & doctors etc. on board with the idea and go through the steps from there. So yay! I’m finally at this step! 😀

The course consists of periods of days/weeks at the rehabilition center’s premises and of work training (weeks/months). The first stage lasted for four weeks, and I’m currently at the second stage – the first working training.
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